Just who is responsible for your life anyway? Who’s in charge? Are you a victim or a victor? A victim is one who complains, blames or justifies their actions while the victor is one who takes full responsibility for everything that goes on in their life. If you’re responsible for what’s going on, then you should be taking action on doing everything you can to improve your life and the lives of those around you. Don’t be the victim, don’t drag people down, instead take responsibility, act and become a better person.
You know how when someone hits you in the ego with a comment that really pisses you off? You suddenly put up walls and shut the person out? They’re making comments about you and it really makes you mad! You know how that goes?
So you stop talking to your friend.
Who are they to judge me? You ask.
Nobody should make judgments about another person. “Judge not, lest you be judged” right? Well that’s in a perfect world, but we both know that not everyone is so enlightened.
It’s just one person’s opinion is all. Their opinion.
So why do we always take things so personally?
In most cases, the mirror is up. If you realize that what they’re saying is really about them and not about you, it can defuse your anger. People get jealous because of success so they begin to point fingers, talk behind your back and gossip.
Gossip is the second worst poison.
The worst is when you agree with what it is that they’re saying and then you take in their words and believe them. What you’ve done is taken in their poison.
You can turn your entire life around by simply realizing that when people speak to you about you, in a lot of cases, they’re really talking about themselves.
You know how when you begin to talk, coach someone or give them advice, it’s really YOU who should be listening because what it is that you’re saying is about you, not about them.
So reverse it.
When people speak to you and you get upset about it, simply “catch it”.
Catch what’s going on in your head. Notice it.
When I worked at Peak Potentials, we’d say “good notice” when you verbalized that you realized what was happening.
It’s a lot like finally “waking up” and “getting it”.
When you catch yourself about to take in the poison and agree, just “catch yourself” and smile, realizing that there is a mirror in front of their face and who they’re talking to is them, not you.
Forgive them and don’t take anything personally.
A really great book that changed my life and that I recommend is “The Four Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz. It’s subtitled “A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom”.
From the back cover: In the four agreements, don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. Deepak Chopra says “don Miguel Ruiz’s book is a roadmap to enlightenment and freedom”
When I found out my girlfriend at the time was reading it, I went to the store, bought it and then read it in my car in the parking lot from front to back so that I was on the same “page” as her. It’s a major part of Peak Potentials Warrior Camp so I’ve know about it for years but never read it. The “Warrior” is “one who conquers oneself” and the Four Agreements is a step in the right direction.
To conquer yourself is the idea isn’t it? To take control of our own life and obtain freedom from limiting beliefs. Warrior Camp helps you achieve that through real life examples, in a loving a supportive group of people. Warrior Camp changed my life and it can change yours.
So what about the good meaning people though? The ones that want to support and encourage you?
What about the people who can honestly see something going on in your life and want to lovingly point in out to you? Are they offering poison or are they just nudging you to get support or help? Nobody can figure that one out except for you.
Look for the signs.
Keep your eyes and ears open. If you hear it enough, over and over, then maybe it’s something you should look at. Maybe it’s something that you’re just not seeing and you’re getting messages from many sources intent on supporting you.
You may be reacting from fear. Your own fear of what you know to be true, and then you just dump that fear onto the person by acting or speaking in anger.
I know that I used to have an issue around making money. My up line used to talk to me about how I could earn more income and it really pissed me off. I would listen to info about the products, but when it came to building “the business”, I’d hang up on him. Then I realized a few things. I went to Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive and was surrounded by people looking for a home business opportunity. There was no doubt that just about everyone there had issues with money and beliefs around it that just did not support them. There were avoiders, spenders, savers and money monks. Everyone had some issue with money that was not supporting them or their family.
I left a changed man, contacted my upline, spent a week with him for some training and what I found was that earning more money created a lifestyle for me.
A lifestyle where I could then do what I wanted to do and not have to worry about money anymore. My passion is to inspire people to take action on their health and fitness and by having a second income stream, I am able to spend more time doing just that. The things I offer and recommend are things I use myself. I know they work, and I want to share them with you so that you may get value from it. I earn a small commission from it, which then allows me to do more good and to support worthy causes like the African Children’s charities my friends and I raised $100,000 for last fall by climbing Kilimanjaro. Now my goal is to raise $10,000 for my girlfriends Peru children’s charity before she leaves in October.
In just those 3 short days at the Millionaire Mind Intensive, I realized that my up line, my buddy Jim, was really just trying to support me to be a better person, and that money is just energy which allows me to fuel my passion.
I had reacted from fear, got pissed off at him and totally resisted the opportunity.
After “waking up” and “catching” what I had done and after Millionaire Mind, I let go of all the anger I had around him and his constant pushing to get me to do the business. Now I thank him for helping me to move forward and follow my passion of inspiring others to take action on their weight loss and fitness.
I don’t “sell” my product. I offer it to those who I feel would benefit from it. Those who truly want to improve see the value and add it into their lives. Those that are not ready, do not and I love them either way.
held a lot of anger towards a very great man, Satyan Raja. He did a couple of things that really pissed me off and I judged him. I put up a wall between he and I.
I had paid around $700 for a course he offered called Sex, Passion and Enlightement, and then decided that his energy was not what I wanted. I asked for a “rain check” on the course , but according to the policy I signed regarding refunds, cancellations and exchanges, I was not able to do that.
I paid it forward instead.
I knew someone who could benefit from the course and I gave it to them. It was exactly what they needed and I felt so good giving this away. I hold no energy around it as it was the right thing to do.
Then I began to work with Satyen at Warrior Camp again. I slowly began to realize how amazing a human being he is and what he has to offer and what I can learn from him to become better myself.
Then it happened again.
He acted and I reacted.
Better put, I didn’t react, but for reasons of confidentiality, I cannot say what happened.
I held more anger towards him again, put up walls again and realized that he’d never change. He was an asshole.
Jump forward 2 years.
I now realize that the anger I was holding toward him was all about me and I was beating myself up for not acting in a manor I should have. It was my issue, not his.
His teaching and lesson? I finally got 2 years later.
I take full responsibility for my life. I create everything and every part of it. I will not be a victim, but I’m not perfect either and if it takes me 2 years to get the lesson, then so be it. If I piss people off when I’m trying to lovingly support them, so be it. That is not my intention. My intention is to make myself a better man and share that with you the reader. If you learn from what I experience or what I have to share, fantastic. If not, and I piss you off, so be it.
Nothing is anything until we make it something.
If you say to me “Congratulations Rob”, I say “thank you”
If you tell me “Fuck you asshole”, I say “thank you, I wish you the best and safe journey”, and then I may end any communication with you because I choose not to have that energy around me and, probably most importantly, I don’t take it personally. It’s not about me, remember?
How does this apply to weight loss?
Well, it applies to weight loss exactly the same as how it applies to drinking too much, smoking, lying, stealing or anything else. The ultimate responsibility in you achieving what you want, the change you want to see in yourself lies squarely on your shoulders. If you keep wondering why you’re not loosing weight and you know you should be exercising but you’re not, who’s fault is it? Who has to come up with a plan to get exercising?
You Do!
There are reasons or results dear reader. You can either be a victim and list the reasons you are not able to exercise, or you get your results by figuring out a way to get started and commit to the plan.
It doesn’t matter if it’s weight loss, quitting drinking, quitting smoking or anything else… you’ve got reasons or results.
I guess what I want to leave you with is that there is a difference between gossip and loving support. Both may leave us feeling shitty about ourselves, anger may come up and you may cut off contact with your friends. It’s up to you to decide what the lesson is. Find some good in what you’re hearing. Learn more about yourself, become a better person. It may take a couple of years before you “get it”.