My near death experience is something I don’t talk about very much. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just not something that I bring up everyday. I am about to share my story with you and it’s very personal to me, mostly because it also involves someone very close to me and my heart.
About 16 years ago my grandmother was very ill and in a nursing home. She had didn’t have very long to live and we all knew that. But my grandmother was stubborn. As soon as there was talk about her dieing she perked right back up. It got to the point that none of us expected her to die anytime soon even if they said she would. At the time I was working alot of hours trying to advance my career, planning my wedding, and I didn’t have alot of time to visit her. I felt bad about it but I had to keep going. Right?
One day my mom phoned and told me my grandmother was not expected to make it much longer. I didn’t take it so hard because we all knew how she was. Until one day it hit me driving home from work. I really started to think about what it would be like without her here. During this whole thought process I spoke to God and said ” I just want to know where she is going.” The Law of Attraction at work I tell ya. Little did I know what I was really asking for. It was about 2 weeks later that I found out!
It was a nice beautiful day. My husband, at the time, and I had come home from the beach and were hanging out just relaxing. It was one of the few weekends that neither of us had to work. I remember we went to bed early that night to catch up on some much needed sleep. During the middle of the night I woke up to go the bathroom, everything seemed pretty normal but I was so thirsty. I came out of the bathroom, stood in the doorway and all of the sudden the whole apartment began spinning. I couldn’t see anything straight. I felt my way to the bed and sat down. I hit my husbands feet and woke him up. I must have looked really bad because he jumped right out of bed. I told him that I thought he was going to have to take me to the hospital but I really need a drink of water first.
He went to the kitchen and while he was gone…. This was the beginning of my journey!
While he was gone my fingers and tongue went numb. I remember holding my hand up in front of my face and not feeling a thing. Then the most amazing thing happened. I was flying, more like surfing through dark waves of air. Faster and Faster! It was the coolest thing. It felt like freedom. I was alone at first, then I could feel many others riding those waves with me. Ah, it felt so good. I had no recollection of being on the bed at home or of my life for that matter. It was so peaceful and warm. I cannot even describe it in words. There was no worry! About anything! Can you imagine that, NO WORRIES AT ALL! Just this beautiful flow and I was right in the middle of it. Close your eyes and imagine that for just a moment.
I was floating along when I came to halt. I was at some little restaurant looking down. I remember I was in the left corner just looking around when I happened to see my Dad, sister and her kids sitting at a table eating dinner. Because of a falling out, I hadn’t spoken to or seen them in years. And now, there they were. They couldn’t see me. It didn’t matter though. All I kept hearing and feeling was this, “Everything will be ok. There is nothing to worry about and they will be fine.” It was instinctively known to me that this was all true and like I said, I had no worries. Not a bad feeling in my spirit. What I noticed next was that everything around me was getting brighter and brighter with white light. Warm, beautiful white light. It was so bright again words just cannot do it justice. I resonated with it, felt it deep within my soul and was bathing in it so comfortably. I knew I was loved and felt such peace.
As I was floating in bliss, I felt someone jerk me, grab my arm really hard. They through me down this tunnel of darkness. I could hear lots of what sounded like wind. Ya know, the kind of wind you stand in and you can’t hear anything else. I was horrified. Where was I going? What is this? Then ….. I could see a small light at the end of this tunnel. I could hear my husband on the phone in sheer panic with a 911 operator. I could see the crook of his arm at the end of the tunnel and thought “No, I don’t want to leave. I want to stay.”
I came to, pretty groggy. My husband was talking to me but I couldn’t listen. He said he had performed CPR and breathing techniques on me for about 5 minutes and then called 911. I was a little delirious. I went all around the house turning on every light I could find. It was still not bright enough. Where is that feeling of peace, why was I back here? Why couldn’t I stay?
Well, it was not my time. I have often sat and thought about that day. I am very thankful and grateful that I was aloud to come back. If I hadn’t, I would have my 2 beautiful children. I wouldn’t have been able to help others and find my true calling, and I wouldn’t have known the wonderful souls that I have in my life today. On the other hand, I am thankful I was aloud to see for myself where my grandmother and others, for that matter, have gone. What their experiences are. Be careful what you pray for.
Speaking of my grandmother…. my mom called me at home the next day because they told her at work I was sick. She said to me ” I have something to tell you about your grandmother” I said ” I know, she is gone. It’s ok though I know where she is.” This of course freaked my mom out until I told her the whole story. Now, when I go to funerals it’s not the dead I cry for, but it’s the impact of the pain of those around me. I want so much to ease their pain and tell them what I know. I also know that at a time like that what I would have to tell them would fall of deaf ears. So, I wait. Later if the subject comes up I tell them then.
Now you know one of my best kept secrets. My enlightened journey of my near death experience. I hope this will help you somehow on your journey through this life and onto your next. Stay blessed and at peace, and always be happy with what you have and what may be coming. Never question why, you will know the answer to that soon enough.
Clarity with Kandace