Aren’t we all searching for our soul mate? It would explain why so many internet dating sites exist! But do we really understand what the term “soul mate” means? Do we really know what we are asking for? Do we understand why we even need/want to have a soul mate?
Those questions were running through my mind as I leafed through Kathy Freston’s book The One: Finding Soul Mate Love And Making It Last at my local book store.
I believe this book will help those who are looking as well as those who are already in a partnership. It will deepen, awaken, and strengthen the love you already have.
What is a Soul Mate?
Life here on earth is just an exchange of energies. You have many soul mates and they come in many forms – even though everyone focus’s seems to be on romantic soul mates. Sometimes connecting with a soul mate is not mystical, it is dark and challenging…but it is always intense.
You can’t look for it – it is just something that happens…and it is up to you if you embrace it.
Whether you realize it or not, you are always drawing to you what you need most in your life. Soul mates come and go. You learn what you need to learn from each other and then move on.
There can also be dark soul mates but even those soul mates give us potential to grow. We get the lessons we are meant to get and once we do, we move on.
With a soul mate, all of your issues come up. Be aware, look at the stuff and try to process it (this is when the healing happens). Don’t push the issues away. Look at it. You can’t heal it until the issue becomes conscious.
Why haven’t I found my soul mate?
If you are not with a partner, that pain is there for a reason. You need to work on what is painful. Maybe it is insecurity – explore why you feel like that way. Find where the wounds came from. Healing them will help remove that insecurity.
If we don’t work on ourselves, we won’t recognize the opportunity in front of us because we are closed down. As we allow ourselves to deepen, our connections deepen. You must be open to all your encounters with people.
How to draw your soul mate closer
Stop projecting on what we think love is supposed to be because we will miss what is right in front of us. So many people have this endless search and are focusing on the future instead of being in the moment.
Make your life fantastic now – love is a skill you need to practice every day. You can practice with anyone. Step up to the plate and be the best person you can be. If you want a deep connection (soulful love) you must be a deep person (soulful person).
Water seeks its own level
Example: If you are in an abusive relationship, on some level you agree you are like the abuser – that you are not a good person. It is about you putting yourself at their level. Until you realize your agreement or your part in the dance, you won’t change the situation.
As you become a more interesting soulful person, you will draw that person to you. If you want soulful love you must deepen your spirit.
How to recognize a Soul Mate
What happens when you find the one? You feel an irresistible connection that you can’t turn away from – a physical, intellectual, and/or emotional chemistry.
A soul mate is someone that facilitates our spiritual growth. You know they are a soul mate because you are really drawn to them. They draw you into your higher learning. The romantic path is only one path of many.
One warning I want to give is that we should not make our relationships our god. We think it should serve us and heal all of our wounds…that it is our everything. A relationship is an avenue for us to explore ourselves so we can grow.
No partner is absolutely perfect and will answer all of your needs and desires. Relax your perceptions and look inside of people. Everyone has wounds to heal so your partner will have wounds to heal as well.
If your relationship gone stale, I’d bet you have stopped working on yourself. Start working on yourself and when you do, you will bring interesting things to the table. Where are you not exploring yourself? A relationship will rise to where you are or it will fall away.
Our childhood wounds go with us until we get to a place where we can deal with it. We pick someone that triggers that old wound…that gives us an opportunity to heal it. Look back in your life and see where it came from.
Relationships are tough; they bring out the best and the worse so you can work on the worse to become your best. We draw people that will push our buttons. Those buttons need to be pushed so we can learn and grow.
Why do nice girls become attracted to bad boys?
Isn’t that the age old question? Why? Why? Why? Well, let me tell you, bad boys push nice girls buttons (keep your minds out of the gutter!) and draw out things that need to be looked at and healed.
So turn toward the thing that troubles or scares you. Listen to the part inside of you that is hurting. Soul mates are there to help you see yourself. Trust me, you will know if he or she is the one. You won’t need someone to tell you. You will just know. If you are still in doubt, then read the book, Finding Soul Mate Love…I am sure it will put your fears to rest.