Former Fat Guy Blog

Real People Real Results - Understanding how food, fitness and mental attitude affect weight loss

Grip your jacket.

I was a shy kid, but I had such self-confidence.
While riding a carousel horse I was told to hold on but I bypassed the reins and the pole. Instead, I gripped my jacket as tight as I could and just held on…just like I was told.

I mislaid bits and pieces of that confidence in later years and clutched at so many unstable poles and broken reins…yet I had never fallen from that carousel horse.

“Grip your jacket J…hold on tight”

Thursday was my last day with Diana, my personal trainer. I must admit that it was a bit emotional for me to end our sessions together. She has become more of a friend than a trainer to me. I know that I will see her often during my many trips to the gym, but I was left to wonder…
“Who will hold my hand?”

…repeat…repeat…repeat…
“Grip your jacket J…hold on tight”

It’s all up to me now, I am responsible for my own results, and I have to push my own limits. That in itself will be a challenge, but one that I am walking into with eyes open wide.
I have been exposed to a wealth of information in the past few weeks and I intend to put it all to good use. I can do this, I know I can…
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Sunday already?

The week is about to come into full swing. Are you excited? I know I am.

I have decided to put . away for a little while. Not because it isn’t working for me, but because I am a girl that likes VARIETY!! I like to have a bit of everything on my plate at the buffet.
MMMMMM buffet!! KK calm down J

I have chosen instead to use the program designed by . More specifically, the Fit Chic nutrition plan, along with the complimenting workout program.
After all, I have a competition to win here!!
I will of course be keeping you all in the loop with my progress.
I am also anxiously awaiting my “Bronze Plus” Test results from . So stay tuned to see if I am a Sugar Burner or a Fat Burner.

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ohhhhhhh baby IT’S ON!!!!!!

Everyone likes a bit of friendly competition every once and a while right?
Well, I just happen to feed off of it.

Last night I received a challenge from . He is the author of
Now, any one that knows me, knows that I am not one to pass up a challenge of ANY kind…I’d really rather stick a fork in my eye.

After a bit of friendly on his blog, the challenge was laid out. We are to make a significant change to how our bodies look and perform.
We have both agreed on a time frame of four weeks for this game.
Before and after pictures, weight lost, measurements, body fat percentage…the whole 9 yards baby. These are due on October 5 2007.

GAME ON!!!!!!

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Oh, you better believe that I am gonna KICK HIS ASSSSSS…
Ya, that’s right , I went there. I’m about to unleash MY inner warrior !!!
*kiss*

Stay tuned for the shenanigans!!!!!!!
I’m pretty fuckin excited about this, actually.

And now back to our scheduled program….

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So…you wanna sweat?

OH HI GUYS!!!!!!

A few days ago I offered up a , Edmonton, to someone who is ready to take action on their health and is ready to take action NOW!!

This is the gym that I play in all week and I can not express to you enough how much I LOVE IT!!!
The staff is amazing, the equipment is top of the line, and the atmosphere is incredible.
They now have two locations open in the city. Westmount and West Edmonton Mall. Both locations are 24 hour facilities and offer extras such as childcare, tanning, juice bar, and of course group classes.

Now, I have been wondering how to generate more interest with my original offer, but could not seem to close the deal.
The answer to this was delivered right to my door this morning…yep, handed right to me in a pretty envelope. There is no such thing as coincidence, something I am coming to terms with quickly…

Let’s sweeten up the deal, shall we….
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Just focus…

For the past few days I’ve been obsessed with the feeling of scolding hot water over my back. I need the shower head to become emotional as she bursts over my shoulders.
It’s when steam fucks the mirrors against the tiled walls like a breath exhaled by an unknown lover, that I can angrily scratch those sentences that have been clogging up my arteries across my reflection, like regretful handprints on foggy car windows on days when the bed wasn’t warm enough.

I can turn her off…stop her from screaming, from purging. I can be her saviour and shut off the tubes that bring forth that boiling liquid that tears away at her lungs when she decides to break down with me. But when I turn the knob and watch the room clear, the words against my mirror slowly disappear.
I wish she’d come to life and cry on my shoulders again, so that I’m not the only one.

I’ve been frantic the past four days, and every morning she calls for me, drip by drip. A soft patter that turns to sobs. She calls for me to remind me…but you’d have to cry glitter for sadness to be beautiful.

In the corner of my jewellry box huddle beads that tore away from a neckline, to find a hand that can confine gloss like a wet kiss upon bare shoulders.
I found her… inching past the outlines towards the center…knowing that there is more substance at the core. It’s where the ageless plastic dancer prances in circles…her legs pointed towards the ceiling. Sometimes instead of wearing those vintage earrings, I drape them across her arms and watch them spin into dots of deep yellow, like a light flickering over a still street at a dangerous time of night.

Most times I feel just like her…surrounded by jewels but locked up and stranded with the same tune playing day after day…..

I tore her legs off yesterday, so she’d stop twirling…
The more I watched her, the more I choked on my own air…

I like to pretend that I’m invincible, but it’s all a front…

It’s days such as these that leave me wanting to pull the covers up tight while ignoring my alarm. Days when I am questioning my decisions…my goals…my purpose…my strength…
Sometimes I just don’t know what the fuck I want, yet other days I am crystal clear. I have been lazy this week. My workouts are half assed, if at all, and my eating leaves MUCH to be desired…
I’m exhausted, and I can’t shake these thoughts long enough to welcome a temporary coma.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep it up…I told you not to get your hopes up” he says with a snide tone…

Is this it? Are we done?
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