Q: Ok so I’m following the Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle e-books. I’ve transformed my eating and eat Very well, since January 7th of this year. I joined Bally’s and know how to weight train and use the elliptical like it’s going out of style.
I only have one problem. I haven’t been to the gym in 2 weeks. I have ADD so for me this is par for the course, I start something, I do it great for about a month and a half, or however long, and then I completely drop off.
I have not done that with my eating though because I know how great eating great makes me feel.
So why am I having such a hard time motivating myself into the gym again? I Always feel great when I’m done, and I see good, slow results.
How do you deal with mental blockage in weight loss? I know this is a lifetime commitment and I want to commit to it, but I’m having a rough time. Maybe my self-esteem from being fat for so long is having a hard time letting go to what I’ve always known.
Thanks for any response you can give.
By the way, I’m 30 in 11 days, white female, endomorph, 5’3 and 200 lbs. A good deal of that is actually muscle, I found a fantastic trainer 3 years ago who showed me how to train effectively as opposed to efficiently, but again, I quit after a few months here and there.
Maybe I’m just scared to be slim. Women do get treated like objects when they’re skinny. I don’t want that.
A: First off, thank you for the question and I’m glad you’ve invested in yourself by getting the Burn the Fat program and are following it. It works.
As for the gym, do you have a personal trainer now? If so, the trainer should be giving you a new fitness program every 6 weeks at least.
For me, I find that changing my program every 6 weeks serves two purposes
1. First and foremost, a change in your program gives your muscles a new perspective on things. Your body will adapt and become used to your program and gains will begin to slow. The body adjusts to new stress, physical and environmental, so switching up your program gives your body new stimulus and it begins to grow again.
2. A change in your fitness program renews interest in it. After about 5 weeks, I begin to get bored with my routine and I truly am excited to start a new program. I get to use muscles in ways I had not before and it’s quite interesting to me to do the new program. If you get bored, switch your program.
The reason I ask if you have a personal trainer is because they do such a good job at creating the program. If they’re any good at what they do of course.
I think this would be especially true if you have ADD, as you have new stimulus.. you may even want to change your exercise program at 4 weeks. Nothing wrong with that at all. This whole concept of changing up your fitness program is called Periodization. I wrote a post about periodization that you can have a look at.
Secondly, what is your reason for doing all this in the first place? What do you want? What is your why?
There is a lot of power in knowing your “Why”
Of all these “Who, What, Where, When, Why and How”, which has the most power?
If you were going to go shopping, none of them matter unless you know “why” you’re going. The rest are just logistics, but without the why….
What is your Why for going to the gym?
Food is your fuel. It’s what lets your body regenerate (or degenerate) from day to day use. No diet in the world is going to get you the ultimate results in shaping your physique without proper weight training.
There are two requirements in getting what you want out of your diet and fitness program and they’re summed up in one of my favorite quotes:
“Every good program requires a plan and sufficient time to implement”
You have to have a plan. How do you know where you’re going if you don’t have a map to get there? You seem to have a goal at least, a lifetime commitment, but to what exactly? If you’re in the gym training to lose weight, what happens when you get to your goal weight? Do you stop training because you reached your goal? I hope not. Is your goal to “lose weight?” After your first week, you lose 1 pound. You reached your goal. Now what? A goal to “lose weight” is not specific enough. Besides, you don’t want to lose muscle or water, you want to lose fat don’t you? How much fat? and by when?
A better goal might be “to complete one hour of training four times a week forever”. The goal is to by physical every other day for life. The goal does not end until you can no longer breathe but the results are improvements in shape, form, health, sleep, immune system response, protection from disease, having a more efficient body, the ability to enjoy life more etc. Simply deciding to train four times a week forever will eventually result in your ideal physique, but it will also continue to support you through the rest of your life.
What is your why for training?
It should be for quality of life reasons as well as vanity. If your why for training is about health, immune system improvements, bone density improvements or any other side effect of training, then awesome. Odds are that you will continue training when you reach your ideal weight.
You say “… having a hard time letting go to what I’ve always known.”
This may be true. This is a belief. Is it serving you? Beliefs are just that, beliefs. You can choose to believe whatever you want and I encourage you to change it.
“if you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right”
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” and my mentor T. Harv Eker says “focus on what you want, not what you don’t want”
Reframe your belief that isn’t serving you with one that will
What is it that you’ve always known might I ask? That you’re destined to be fat? That training for a woman will result in large bulky muscles? That exercise just creates pain?
You also say that you feel so good when you’re finished in the gym.
That is what you should be focusing on. I have to be honest. I have to talk myself into going to the gym a lot. I love it, it makes me feel great, it wakes me up, it inspires me to have a great ‘rest of the day’, it makes me sleep better, I’m more positive, once I get moving, I continue to move. However.. knowing all this is not always enough to get me to pack my gym bag and get me into my car.
Women make decisions based on emotion. That is a fact. Men make decisions based on logic. That is also a fact, but we both possess the ability to make decisions either way. When you don’t feel like going to the gym, that is an emotional reason, because you don’t feel like it.. even if you know all the reasons to go.. the logical reasons.
You may very well have to talk yourself into going. Do what you know is logical, even if you don’t feel like it. An object at rest tends to stay at rest, while an object in motion will continue to stay in motion until acted on by an outside force”. Get the gym bag packed, or better yet, have it packed the night before. Don’t think about getting in the car and the drive, and the parking, and what else you could be doing, and just do it. “don’t think, don’t think, don’t think”
Your objective is to simply get to the gym and do a warm up. As soon as you’re warmed up, everything begins to change.. this one simple change in physiology will be enough to move your through your workout. You know you should be training, you know it feels so good when you’re done… you “know all that”. It’s just the initial momentum that you need to push you out the door and into the gym.
This is where your “Why” comes in. Know your why. Write them down and keep them handy. Put them on the fridge, on the dash of your car, on your mirror, on your computer screen and ON YOUR ALARM CLOCK.
I am not a morning person. I do not like going to bed early or getting up early. I have to talk myself into getting up to go do cardio EVERY day. I used to hit the snooze alarm. I’d have to alarms.. one ½ hour or hour early and one at the time I really wanted to get up. I’d hit snooze over and over and over. I even moved the alarm clock across the room so I have to get out of bed to go hit the snooze button.
Then I put a small message on my alarm clock
It reminds me Why I am getting up so early. Now, my Why on my alarm clock is a paraphrase or “catch phrase” that reminds me of my Full Why. It’s my personal reminder to stay awake and not to hit the snooze button and allows me to see my goal first thing in the morning when I wake up.
My reason for wanting to get to 6% body fat is
“to look, feel and be in peak health, with single digit body fat, to inspire others and show them that it truly can be done with the right application of knowledge and to show others that if I can do it, they can do it too”
When I see my message to myself, I turn off the clock, and turn on the kettle to brew my morning Calli tea. I get my gym bag ready while the tea is steeping and then I head to the gym. Once I’m done, I’m awake, refreshed, inspired through the inspirational MP3’s that I’m listening to, and then ready to take on the day. I know that my metabolism has been cranked up and I’m burning fat.
Another time I have to talk myself into going to the gym is on leg training days. Training legs is quite intensive for me. My first thoughts are of the pain of course. However, I quickly switch to my Why for training legs. Legs are one of the largest muscle groups in the body. Training them has a huge impact on your entire physique. Your body has to pump out so much growth hormone to handle the repair, that you burn a LOT of body fat during that repair process. The HGH also affects the rest of your body so that not only are your repairing your legs, but also the rest of your muscle groups. The HGH improves immune system function, lowers stress, improves sleep, makes you look younger and on and on. It’s one of the human bodies most powerful hormones and training legs releases a lot of it. It’s the same reason I love deadlifts… for all the same reasons. To get bigger AND improve quality of life. Plus.. women love men with great legs.
Lastly, I’d like to address this last belief you have:
“Women do get treated like objects when they’re skinny”
Prove that to me would you please?
I do believe it’s possible that some might think that, but I also believe that women are treated with respect because they take the initiate to train their body and stay in peak shape. I admire anyone, male or female that takes the time to train. There is a lot of work and commitment involved. Daily exercise, proper eating habits for your body type, creating of new habits etc.
A skinny woman is not necessarily attractive anyway. Define “skinny”. Thin frail women are not appealing to me. Women who are skinny a lot of time are not healthy looking, not vibrant, where a fit woman, to me at least, looks healthy, energetic and alive. She looks in control, powerful and more like a Goddess. You’re meant to be fit and appealing. Revel in it. Aspire to it. Do it for you, not for the guys. Heavy women can also exude Goddessness (don’t try and look that word up…) as well. It’s an attitude of belief in ones own power.
A good looking man or woman is held in very high regards by myself. Being of the male species, yes, I am attracted to a good looking, healthy female. That’s natural.
I can totally relate to what you’re saying as I too gained 300 pounds to protect myself from women. I had some serious self esteem issues growing up. I gained 300 pounds so I would not have to deal with women or intimacy. It was easier to have them reject me for my weight than for who I am. Regardless of the protection, it simply was not serving me and I nearly died. Well, that was enough. At least you’d think. When I had my “episode”, I committed to doing something about my health, not my weight, and even though I had great success, as I got closer to my goal weight and shape, women were suddenly more attracted to me. When they began to flirt, it freaked me out and I’d binge and gain 30, 40 or more pounds back. Then I’d feel like shit again, and get back on my program. I cycled my weight like this for a few years until I met Harv Eker.
It was through Peak Potentials and T Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive that I finally got a handle on my beliefs. What I learned from Millionaire Mind completely transformed my life. It took me to places that I never dreamed possible before. It introduced me to new ideas and possibilities regarding my wealth AND my health. I increased my bench press, asked a girl out, took my home business from $50 a month to $5000 a month and even overcame a belief that I’d never dance sober ever again. You can listen to a Free Millionaire Mind Teleclass and learn more about it if you like.
From the Millionaire Mind Intensive, I went on to take Enlightened Warrior Camp. The theme of Warrior camp is “Act in Spite of Fear, Doubt and Worry“. Warrior Camp gave me the ability to Take Action on things I had previously never really committed to. Nothing stops me from my goals now and after Wizard Camp, I realized that I alone create my reality.
You can continue to believe that you’ll be treated as an object, or you can choose to believe that you’ll be respected for what you’ve achieved. The choice is yours. Change your belief. I highly recommend you take Millionaire Mind Intensive. It’s a $1300 three day intensive program held in various places around North America. I volunteered for years and then was hired to facilitate at the events. It truly changes lives. Harv offers the course for a low introductory price of $97, for which you’re guaranteed a seat as well as getting lots of goodies including a $100 coupon to be used for any courses you decide to continue on with. The $97 simply holds your spot in the seminar. They used to give it away for free, but then they’d book venues to hold as many seats as people signed up for, but then they would not show up. A $97 commitment fee was initiated to limit this. A friend of mine says “something for nothing is good for nothing” and while I partially agree, the point here is that if you’re willing to commit to the $97, you’re most likely going to show up.
You certainly do not have to go to the seminar, but I do recommend it. You come away with a blueprint for creating wealth and most importantly for managing your money. It’s not about money though. Well, it is, but it’s about beliefs. Limiting beliefs. Recognizing them, reframing them and creating success in all areas of your life. Like I said , I finally broke through a bench press belief that I had and got to my goal a short 2 months after taking the course. I also love dancing now, and I’m constantly working on my issues with women. I’m much better now and not afraid of them. In fact, I revel in getting to know women and surround myself with as many good looking women as I can.
If you’re still having issues with “being treated as an object” when you reach your fitness and weight loss goals, know that you may very well be able to kick any of the guys asses, so revel in your fitness, don’t avoid it.
As for ADD, look into essential fatty acids. There is a lot of research that shows many benefits to mental functions when EFA’s are included in the diet. Udo Erasmus, the leading speaking on “good fats” says this about people suffering from mental disorders:
“There is some research on obsessive-compulsive disorder that [says] fats are important. Certainly in depression, [there is] good research and consistent feedback [that says] when people make the oil change we recommend, their mood is elevated and their depression is lifted. Hyperactivity responds, dyslexia responds, clumsiness responds, attention deficit responds… Also, in schizophrenia, there’s less hallucination. People deal with stress better and feel calmer. Also intelligence improves, and there’s research on that – I.Q. goes up by six to nine points.”
I recommend Udo’s Oil, available at any natural food store (you’ll find it in the refrigerator) for anyone who is still breathing. Essential Fatty Acids are just that.. essential. Our body cannot make them on it’s own. I add it to my diet for immune system reasons, skin and nervous system reasons, bodybuilding reasons, fat burning reasons and to increase and improve my testosterone. It’s been a daily part of my diet for years.
1. Come up with your “Why” – Write it down. Make it your mission statement.
2. Focus on getting to the gym and warming up. Once warmed up, you’ll be more interested in training, and once you’ve completed your training, you know you will feel great and have a great day.
3. Change your exercise program at least every 6 weeks to keep things interesting and to support new muscle growth.
4. Choose to change your beliefs. If your belief isn’t supporting you, change it to one that does.
5. Men will only treat you as an object if you let them treat you as an object. Don’t let them. You’re in charge… kick their ass if you have to.
6. Join a support forum and ask to be held accountable for your goals.
7. Add Udo’s Oil or any other Omega 3-6-9 essential oil blend to your diet.
8. Consider attending the life changing Millionaire Mind Intensive. Once you’re at the event, the tuition for Warrior Camp is much lower than if you were to purchase it on it’s own. Go to Millionaire Mind, then go to Warrior Camp.
I hope this answers your question and thank you for asking.